Change

I changed much and I am still changing now. I have been here more than half a year. I always mention time because time means much for me. First of all, it’s a tool measure whether I improved. My classmates have been here about one or two years, and someone even more than two years. I always think about a question how much and what speed did they improve and change. Some classmates can speak fluent English, but most of them still speak guangdongnese. I don’t want to like them. I should speak English fluently fast.

Second, I should plan my future. It’s about the problem of time. I should take master degree, and have babies. I also should have my career. I don’t want to be a housewife even if my husband can earn much money. See, life is complicated. I don’t know whether I cannot give up and insist to seek my career; sometimes I really felt tired and felt not good.

The United States is a very interesting country. People come from different countries. Therefore, we have the same theme in our life—missing our hometown. I don’t like environment in China, but I really miss my hometown. This feeling makes me feel I am old. I think people living in the United States are more sensitive than people in other countries. Everyone has different backgrounds, but everyone can comprehend we have two roots. We love here and our hometown both. It makes our life dramatic and beautiful.

In the other way, because we have the different backgrounds, we should learn to be strong and to be candid. In the past half an year, I was afraid how to ask questions, and I was afraid to tell others my opinion. I always accepted what others told me to do without thinking about it. I think maybe it because I should use different language. However, I should face my weakness, and I should advance myself. I am learning how to think about everything independently, and I should learn to protect my benefit.

Yes, I changed much. I am more aggressive and more confident than before. I am still changing. I am learning speaking English fluently and natively. I am learning how to think about a question and solve it reasonably. I am lucky that I can choose my life although sometimes I feel unhappy that I should always fright for something. However, I should face the reality. Compare to others, I am lucky. I can learn everything fast, and I am a reliable person in others impression. Life is not always idealistic as we dream, but we still have hopes. I am my own and I have everything.

Determination

I went to work today and met a girl; her name is Richard, a PhD in the University of Chicago. She said she didn’t care about money, but she has worked here for several years and this restaurant needs her now. As a result, she comes back and decides to work several days after the new people will be familiar with the work. She is nice, and she always help me and teach me how to service. After we talked about our experience, I felt so excited that I was eager to go to a university to get Master degree. I felt I, whom is aggressive and ambitious, come back.

I recalled that in the first day in the Harold Washington College this semester. In the Social Science class, when the classmates introduced themselves, all Chinese girls said they like shopping! I cannot control myself to angry with them. Come on, you are not in the junior school, and at least you are in a college, don’t always like shopping! I hate these silly girls and I felt shame that I was their classmates. All of these make me want to leave them and stay alone. Where am I and who am I? I should leave them and go ahead to catch up with my dream.

I read an article about a boy, whom is my classmate of Southeast University. He went abroad to continue study in Japan after graduating. He told his experience in Japan and analysis what he gained and lost. From his article I can learn that he was excited and his life was very wonderful even he complained that how little he slept, and how fast he changed to be old. I think he like it. I think we are the same style person.

Even now, one of my brothers still says that your life is tough. You should get married with a rich man in China, and that you can only stay at home to enjoy life. I don’t know why some person like my brother considers the life like this is a delightful life. In my mind, it’s a horrible life that without passion and safety. I have never considered that women should live by relying on men. In USA, my friends always tell me that however the highest degree you get, you still stay at home to take care of your family at last.

Oh, never mind! It’s not the excuse that I am going to give up take GMAT test and MBA. I should tell myself that don’t be lazy! If I give up now, I must be regret in several years. If at last I should take care of my family, I still don’t want to give up my career. That is a part of my life. Family and career, they like enjoy and hardworking, consist of my life.

Sometimes painful is the spring of the happiness.

Be Stronger

Today I worked in Sushi Sai. Because of it’s the holiday today, it was not busy. At last, I earned pretty little. However, I feel happy that I can speak with others and gain much information from the other waitress here.

One of the waitresses is Kathy. She comes from Guangzhou, and she got the bachelor degree in USA. She told me that her classmates recommend her come here to work. Several friends of her worked here during their summer break, and they can earn pretty much money here in the whole summer. After they got the offer of master, they left here to study. Now she is preparing the GMAT, and she will get the GMAT test this weekend. After the test, she will work here every day until begin to go to school.

The other girl comes from Thailand. She has been in USA for 6 years. She told me that she studied in HWC two years. She is studying in Northeast University now and she will graduate after two years. She is twenty-five years old now. We talked about my teacher and my classes and she told me that it is easy to get As in HWC.
After work, on my way home, I always think about my study and my career. When I came here, my aim is get MBA degree. However, Xia fan, my sister-in-law, she got MBA degree and now she just stays at home and takes care of baby. In addition, I was lazy that I didn’t review the GMAT last semester. It makes Bobby think that maybe I cannot get the MBA degree, and he always think that I shouldn’t get MBA degree because I will stay at home, just like Xia fan. It always upset me, but I cannot control myself to review GMAT.

Life is tough here, but I like it. Actually, I like my life full of toughness and challenge. It gives me hope. One of my friends said you are supposed to get married with a rich man in China. Although it seems that he is wishing that I will be happy, I am not appreciated with it. It means that he cannot understand of me at all.

From now on, I should plan a schedule about the time of review GMAT, work and go to school. My classmates in HWC all come from China, and they always speak Chinese, the next semester I should only speak English with them and I will not go out with them. I should plan my new life and earn my future.

Grow up

What is the truth of life? I always consider this question and I can get different answers in different situation. I think whatever I think. They are part of content of life. Today I heard a song names more lonely after grow up, and I read some journals of my friends. I thought about the past and felt a little tired. I am accustomed to think the things hiding in my heart when I feel life is tough. It is ridiculous that sometimes my sensation is influenced by people around me because people always say just care of yourself. Still, the system of society express that people influence each other. Therefore, I should keep strong, and that is right to do myself.

I always said that life is not a result, but it’s a process. We should enjoy the process because it occupies a majority portion. Yet, it also is a struggling process. Maybe I always express the best one to others, but who knows most of the time I taste the suffering by myself. I once have doubted, irritated, and been delight with life. I try to calm down to display that I am mature after I get some progress or success. However, when I am in a new position, I still feel confused and desperate. The only difference is that I can control myself and solve it with my experience.

There are much happiness and much unhappiness after I came to the United States. I finally can be together with my husband, who is the most important in my life and makes me believe that love is the miracle in this world. On the other hand, I am suffering vanishing of confidence and am changing to be a sensitive woman. I consider a people who are diffident always sensitive. I always feel upset when others told me that what they did, what they gained and what they will do. I feel miserable that I don’t like to share happiness with my husband’s family, which I thought I can have a warm big family before. The only thing I can sense is the distance. All of these like the song sing that more lonely after grow up. The difference is I feel lonely because I am not strong now and I need time to catch up with others. It’s like a double-edged sword. It makes me unhappy and not lovely. On the other hand, it makes me never give up improve myself.

Actually, I don’t really care about others. I have been sick of being a strong and successful people in others’ mind. I only wish that I will feel delightful from my heart every day. When I feel sad, I know the only reason is that I waste time and lose my aim. I should cheer up and be strong. I believe I can achieve my aim in several years.

Happy New Year

New Year has coming. In China tradition, it is Ox year which means it is a lucky year. It also implies that everyone can earn much money wherever they invest in this year. Yes, it’s the beginning of a new year. Everything is new and everybody feels exciting. The word new brings us unlimited wishes. I read many articles of my Chinese friends these days, and I am interest in two things. The one is the wishes of next year; the other is the plan of next year. I think why they don’t conclude of the last year before doing wishes and plans. When I read the concrete contentions, I found all of them said it a mediocre year in 2008, or they said it’s a terrible year in 2008 and I gain nothing in the last year. It’s finally past! Hum, I don’t appreciate this attitude. I think in the beginning of last year they also did wishes and plans, and it seems it’s like nonsense for them to do them again, and it makes me to predict that what they will say in the end of this year. We need to learn how to do plans, but also need to do conclusion.

Since I did so many conclusions about 2008; I wrote a Memory of 10 years in QQ. Here I only display my plans. Today my little husband told me that he has a 90 days challenge. He is fat and he desire to lose weight, but the challenge is I am learning cooking and he is greedy of food. He has given up for several times. Today he pledged seriously. Although pledges mean nothing by proving, I still try to believe him this time. Meanwhile, for accompany with him, I decide to have my own 90 days challenge. That is only speaking and reading English. God knows how hard it is and how many times I have given up it before. However, this time I will insist in it.

Except for 90 challenges, I have several plans in this year:
1. Getting a high score of GMAT (Maybe above 700, I will fix it after three months).
2. Doing exercise at least three times every week.
3. Applying a good university.
4. Learning many dishes.
5. Getting A in every class.
6. Traveling several places.
7. Finding a part-time or full time job after taking the GAMT test.
8. Enjoy life everyday and keep happy.
9. Do not waste time more than one hour every day.
10. Keep beautiful.

My husband will graduate this year. For me, it is a good thing even though it is during financial crisis. I am confidence that he will find a good job. If both of us try our best, everything will be closer to our dream. At least, our life is full of happiness.

The best wishes in New Year are my mom and brother is healthy and happy.

Happy New Year!

My Career

I had never thought about my career when I was a student. It is ridiculous for student in USA because most of them begin to work from they are child. However, in China, we were little princess or emperor in our childhood. Elders spoiled us, and the only job for us was getting high scores. Maybe it is why many Chinese students cannot find a job after they are graduated, and why many of people work only for maintain their life. We were misled that we study for going to a good middle school, high school and a good university. And then? After we graduate, we are conscious that we cannot find a good job because the major we chose to study is not a popular one, or we don’t know how to sale us. Definitely speaking, planning career early is necessary during our whole life. It relates with aspiration, and influence to quality of life.

“Winning” introduces four points of career. They include the right job, getting promoted, hard spots and work-life balance. It says that the fist job is important, we should find it and we’ll never repeat the same job. What should we consider when we choose an adaptable job? “People, opportunity, options, ownership and work content.” There are no shortcuts for getting promoted. For getting promoted, attitude is most important. It mentions how to face bad bosses in hard spots. We all desire to have a good boss to help us, protect us and promote us, but if we meet bad bosses, we should first reflect ourselves’ behaviors. If we confirm that it’s not our problem, there are two choices for us. One is working hard and forgetting it that boss is bad, the other is leaving gracefully. Work- life balance, it’s not a serious problem in his era, so if you are interest in it, just read it by yourself.

Compare to Jack Welch’s experience and consult, I can reflect to my career. I had worked nearly five years in China. Although my experience is not professional than what Jack Welch said, it is more similar with common people. It doesn’t mean that we can ignore the suggestion from the consultant. On contrast, we should learn it and apply it flexibly. Anyway, the situation is different between China and USA.

When I recall my past five years, I always consider that I was lucky. I captured some opportunities and got promoted fast. Still, there are some points are worthy to speculate. My major is E- Business; I didn’t learn any concrete skills, but learned an abstract conception of business, and experienced many failures in my university. I found an OK job but felt satisfied because getting a job is not easy for a graduate student. From the first job, I learned how to apply Microsoft Office assistant me to work. The most important is that I learned skills of communication. I worked in second company for three years because I have another choice after ending this work. I would not work so long if I still in China. The second job brought me ability of negotiation and management. From this job, I built my self-confidence. I gained many opportunities and options from it, but I didn’t like people and work content then.

The spirit supported me to improve myself is a high standard and never give up. Many youth in China don’t comprehend responsibility. They work just for work, and they don’t have a high standard for themselves and never plan their future. Ironically, they always complain their hardworking and pity salary. Everyone experiences failures in their life. I was fired by unfair in my first job. From that event, I comprehend my failure of communication and being a stronger. “Never give up” helped me overcome that obstacle and found my second job, much better than the first one. Never give up is not only applied in facing failure, but also used in seeking for progress. I am not a good student during my study time. I don’t like what I learn. However, which I hate is not learning, it is the study content. After I graduate, I realized that my degree and my knowledge limited my promotion. I began to study in Jiao Tong University in Shanghai, and I got high scores in my study. High score doesn’t represent anything, but at least it brought me much self-confidence. I cannot believe that I can change to be a “good” student. I believe that I can do everything good because I can overcome being a good student, which I have fallen being a good student for nearly ten years.

Many people consider capability is more important than high scores or degree. However, good scores and degree is still important because it likes a decent coat help you open broad doors and capture much more opportunities. I am lucky that I have opportunity to study in USA. I am trying my best to learn, and I want to encourage my friends that try best to improve step by step.

Reflection to "Winning"

I planned to pore over several books for developing my writing during this winter break. Yesterday, I have completed the first one “Winning” Jack Welch by Suzy Welch. Personally, I like this book and recommend it to you. Completing reading this book cannot improve my writhing immediately. However, I learned many skills to enhance my ability for working and perfect myself for living.

This book comprises five chapters, which one is aim at different demands. The first chapter is about the merit, which Jack Welch considered is the most important in career. About mission and values, I don’t want to mention here because it’s companies business. I am interest in Candor and differentiation. Obviously, everyone knows the advantage of being a candor, but it’s easy to say than to do. People always prefer to sugarcoat than giving candid opinions. With my experience, I am a fan of candor, but I think we should be a candor with wisdom. It also mentioned in this book. Being candor doesn’t mean you can speak everything without picking words. It means facing reality bravely, solving problems with determination and communicating artistically. The point is we should be candid in action and be sincere in communication.

Differentiation means people or operation are distinct three genera. Top fifteen percent is outstanding, seventy percent in the middle is ok, and the last fifteen percent is which should be kicking out. The first time I heard this method is from Pan shiyi’s book, whom is one of the most successful entrepreneur in real estate industry. In china, it performed not excellent, and this strategy evolved to be a betrayal. Still, I support this finesse because it is a measure that helps people clarifies their position. It not only active their enthusiasm, but also deliver clear information for people whether work hard or leave out. It is honest and efficient at least. People betray the company because of their complaint of differentiation. I think it’s another way of leaving.

In our life, we should develop and complete ourselves in every step. Around candor and differentiation, we dig other meanings such as brave, competitive, aspiration, ambition, positive and forth. We should possess these merit and more in our career. Face our life; we should possess other spirit to support us owning a wonderful life. Discovering beauty and saving arsenal in our mind.

Next paragraph I will continue to talk about career writing in this book.